Have you heard …

Hi, I just thought that for the small time I have Internet on my iPod I shall make the most of it. Bye, now.

p.s. This is from November 12th, 2009.

(Note: Explained in Additions by Me. It is advised that the Reader first read “What nonsense 2 : )”, followed by “___ADDITIONS by Me”.)

And make sure that your fingers are attached to your hands and your toes are attached to you feet and your vomit is attached to your guts and…somebody just violated the safety regulations. How do I know this? WHO PUKED ON ME?!

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You should plug the whole head in case of brain loss! If your brain falls out, you will literally be brain dead, except in this case you will have a dead brain!

Also, please be sure that your face is attached securely to your head.

Thank you.

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You will also be provided at the doors with duct tape for your mouth and ears for prevention of the loss of guts.
NOTE: As you will be needing to breathe, we will not be held liable for any loss of innards through the nasal passage.

This is something I made up randomly yesterday…

Please keep all hands, arms and heads (if you are a mythical creature) inside the vehicle at all times, including while the vehicle is currently completely stationary. If you have heart, eye, or spinal ailments, and/or are sensitive to strobe lights or lasers, going on this ride is strictly unadvised. If you have a small abrasion, bruise, or have recently had you hair trimmed, riding this vehicle is strictly unadvised. (Is that the proper prefix?) If you have recently had a dream that something bad happened to you while on this ride, riding is strictly unadvised.

You must be within the height range of 5′7″-7′5″ to go on this ride. You must be within the weight range of 100 lbs. to 211 lbs to go on this ride.
You must be between 21 years old and 60 years old to go on this ride.

All loose-fitting, thin, or delicate clothing will be replaced with a wetsuit (or a wrestling uniform) and a diaper, as will any clothing with added closures such as buttons and/or strings.
You must be bald to ride, as this ride may suction any loose hair clean off.

WARNING: THIS RIDE PRESENTS A 35.97% CHANCE OF INJURY, VOMITING, FLINGING/FALLING HEADFIRST A MILE DOWN ONTO SOLID CONCRETE, OTHER UNPLEASANT CIRCUMSTANCE (i.e. sudden urination) RESULTING FROM HIGHLY HAZARDOUS RIDES.

Enter at your own risk.
If anything bad happens to you, it’s totally your own fault, dude.

And most importantly…
HAVE FUN!!!

Bonjour. Hola. Ciao. Hello. Ni-hao. Yeah, I’m just going to sit here all day saying hello in foreign languages; in a couple of them it’s the only word I know. I just noticed that I haven’t blogged since last year. Stop looking over my shoulder, you nosy person. Actually, there was nobody there, just me. Oh, duh, by the way, happy New Year, even though we’re already five days into it. Or is it six? Never mind, I’ll know when this is up. I had the weirdest dream last night.

That was random.

I’m sitting and staring into a blank screen
And not much whatever is there to be seen.
I fill up the space with the thoughts in my head
But nothing, no, nothing is there to be read.

Hi, people out there who are reading this may recognize this name. You may or may not associate it with the person about whom I am writing. This Angelina is my one and only cousin, Angelina Ramirez-Sotelo (she isn’t my only cousin, but she’s the only one with that name).

Her personality is fun-loving and nice. She loves animals… all sorts of animals! Like cheetas…grrrrr. She has a big family, which includes Kelly and Roberto “Galan” Sotelo (the parents); they are so nice. And the kids: Estrella (Star), Jessica, Angelina, Antonio, Elian and Adrian.

She was a foster child. Her life was sad and long… When she started living with her biological grandma, everything seemed to get better. She got a dog named Drew and a kitten named Tigger. Her kitten is so adorable! She has six grown cats, one kitten, and a puppy. She is spending time with the Sotelo family right now for Estrella’s quinceanera, but she is a Ramirez. She is having such a great time, but she is going to miss her baby nephew’s birthday party this Sunday.

We all love Angelina.

Thank you (imagine us bowing).

p.s. Angelina gets the credit for most of this post.

I don’t know, but it’s been said Sarah’s thinker has been dead, but I really have to write, though no subject is in sight! Sound off, 1-2-3-4-1-2–3-4!

Blahblah blahblah blah, yammeryammer, and all that other good stuff…

Ho hum, dum dee dum diddle um dum.

Hmmmmmmmmm…..

Jessica, please unhand the phone. I mean now. Oh, whatever.
p.s. Jessica is my cousin.

Well, well. Oh, I don’t think I’ve told you this yet (if I have, please let me know). We got a dog on May 2nd. His name is Rico and he is TOO ADORABLE! To anyone who didn’t know him, he might look a little scary-looking–he’s a German shepherd mix; we don’t know his other breed. As soon as I am able to post pics up here, I will show you what he looks like. He is a little older than a year and very playful. I mean VERY. He loves tug-of-war, being chased by Rebekah, and wrestling with my dad. He sort of plays fetch, but he still has to learn to bring the ball back! He always has energy and has plenty of kisses in the morning. I call him Riquito Taquito (smile)…

If you are reading this, which you may or may not be, I suggest…hm. What do I suggest? Mr. Green, with the Candlestick, in the Lounge! That was a joke, for those reading this who may or may not know. Look out for Mr. Green!!!

Hello to my family and friends, whose names I will not mention for memory, time, and security reasons.

HELLO IN T.V. LAND!!

Fare thee well. I’LL BE BACK.

1. Rebekah and my now 6-year-old sister Alaynah have recently had a birthday. Alaynah had a water slide in the backyard which everyone including the older kids enjoyed…. Oh, and Bekah is getting a new camera. She seems to be delighted in the fact that it’s a little better than mine. Alaynah got a “Magical Talking Nursery”, which she was thrilled about. I think they had a pretty good birthday.
2. “Birthday, you say?” Yes, they share a birthday. Same due date, both were born five days later. They are precisely six years and twelve minutes apart. I suppose Alaynah’s first exciting experience was to be Rebekah’s birthday present!
3. Our great-grandmother died recently (she was almost 93!), so my mom flew to Louisiana yesterday for the funeral and she’s staying until Sunday. Yikes! Five whole days without Mom? How are we ever going to survive? It’s okay. We always have Daddy! We pray for and salute Mommy for riding on the plane all by herself.
4. Bekah and I went on a trail at Central Park with our friend after piano lessons. On the way back, we decided to do a little exploring. Well, when we were under a certain non-functioning train tack when I heard Rebekah exclaim, “Oh, my gosh! Look, it’s a crawfish! See that big one over there?” and a crawfish–crayfish, crawdad, whatever you call it–there was. None of us could step across the creek, and since Bekah found the thing she was gong to catch it. There was one obstacle, however. She was wearing high tops. Anyone out there who has ever worn high top knows how hard they are to remove.

   Well, my sister ended up catching the crawfish. (Tip: If you don’t plan on getting pinched, hold it with your thumb and forefinger, right behind the pincher arms.) Now the problem was finding something in which to carry it. Eventually, we found a bag. Well, then we remembered that the crawfish needs to stay moist. Then there was the puzzle of what to feed him.
   Yes, he was a guy, causing, in one situation, many jokes about Bekah’s husband.

Here are some more famous smart-aleck “ha ha, you’re just saying that because you can’t say anything else” retorts that I have recently added to my superhuman vocabulary:

1. Congratulations.

2. Congratulations again.

3. I’ve noticed.

4. You’ve mentioned that.

Or if someone is being hypocritical and is in need of assistance realizing it:

5. Wait a minute, wasn’t it you who said________*

6. Well, if it were you doing it , you wouldn’t be so against it.

7. If you don’t like it, you shouldn’t do it.

*i.e. “Wasn’t it you who said nobody should have control of the remote?” when here they are holding up the remote in the air (to keep it away from anonymous other sibling) and the volume is so low you’re straining just to see what she finds so appealing about that program anyway.

No, it is not.

Originally my birthday party was to be on April 18th. We had to postpone it because most of my family was sick. Now I am still sick on the twenty-fourth and we have to postpone it to next Sunday. I ache all over, I have a cough and a fever, and my mother, hating to be the bearer of bad news, has recently told me that I might have an infection. I feel sickishly bad. I hope I get better soon. We are also supposed to go to a dog adoption event tomorrow, so I don’t know how that will work out.

Illness is not a good thing. No, not a good thing at all.