Hello again

May 21st, 2015

It’s been more than a year. I realized something about blogs recently. People aren’t interested in your life unless they were interested in other stuff that you talk about first. I don’t know if I’ll start doing that because I already have another blog now where I talk about random stuff that comes to my head. I may start doing that with this one but only to the extent that I can do it with both and not run out of content or repeat myself. I was gonna copy and paste the posts from my other blog here but that’s no fun.

I have a job in retail now so maybe I’ll have some stories for you. I’ve ranted several times at family and friends about some stuff that annoys me and rare but precious things that don’t annoy me, so maybe among all that there will be something entertaining for you.

I still don’t know how to drive. I haven’t taken the opportunity to go and practice much, so I’ve practiced driving all of twice within the last year since I got my permit, which is now expired. Since I’m over 18 now and still don’t have a license, but need an ID to prove I’m an adult or to just prove I’m me, I’m waiting for it in the mail. The lady at the DMV said it should be here within 10-14 days from the date of my appointment, but the paper they gave me said IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE YOUR IDENTIFICATION CARD WITHIN 60 DAYS, CONTACT THE DMV AT SUCH AND SUCH NUMBER. This is a paraphrase, but really?! Two months?! So it should be here within two weeks from the day I gave them my information, but don’t call until it’s been two months. That’s very reassuring. Good job. *thumbs up*


April 30th, 2014

I am a legal grown-up now. Yikes.

Since I haven’t been in school for nearly a year and haven’t had a gig since summer, the time has come for me to look for a job. It’s kinda frustrating and not easy. Well, I guess when you go on job boards every day it’s not gonna be easy to find new ones posted. I’ve applied to a bunch of stuff but so far no dice. I’ll be playing piano over the summer and possibly going to school in the fall, so at least I’ll be productive. Plus I make a little bit of cash steadily by giving weekly piano lessons which is cool.

If anyone (I assume everyone who reads this is related to me) has tips on finding a job, I’d be much obliged. And if you are related to me you know I’m pretty reserved, plus my highest education is high school, so I’m wondering if those are hindrances. On the plus side, my boyfriend is now employed, so that’s pretty cool.

There’s also the voting thing. I’m not sure I wanna vote this year because I don’t feel intellectually prepared to make what I feel to be good and informed decisions. I know I’m just one person, but I still wanna feel confident about my choices. And even though it’s my duty as a citizen of the United States, I think others shouldn’t be bothered by my choice not to vote unless I consequently complain about the results of the vote. Then you can feel free to be annoyed at me.

I’m taking my driving permit test really soon. That’s another thing Austin beat me to. I haven’t studied even though I found out the date long enough ago. I doubt I’ll do badly on the test anyway, but I wanna be as prepared as I can, so there will probably be a certain amount of cramming in order soon. He and I read and took notes and quizze each other on the manual previously, so it’s more of a review now. After that, I pass the permit test, then I get my license, then one day a car and I’m free to explore the world! “The world” being the grocery stores I’ll be sent to for errands, of course.

I’ve been babysitting for our neighbors. They enjoy me and I enjoy them. Even with four younger siblings, I have very little experience changing diapers, so that was a little bit daunting, but I didn’t fail, so yay! The older girl likes to read and play games on my phone. She’s a little bit more reserved; the younger girl is very energetic and loves to do my hair and asks me to do hers, too. Female bonding activities for the win! It’s pleasantly surprising how much happiness a French braid can bring. :) The littlest was quite afraid of me at first. She’s still a little bit shy, but last time, she actually let me change her and talked in front of me, and even directly to me a little bit. Yay for progress!
Side note about French braids: Every time I wear a French braid around females, it starts a conversation. If it’s with my family, they tell me I should do it on them sometime. If it’s with others, they ask how I did it and say they wish they knew how. Maybe I should hold a one-day French braid workshop for the females I know who are interested. I don’t know how I could teach them to do it on themselves like I do because my skill in that came from years of practice, but I think I could show them how to do it on others. I think it would be fun for them, but I don’t know how I would put together something like that.

Also, let it never again be said that I can’t cook! While my water-boiling skills are still a work in progress, I’ve been getting into baking, and I must say I have generally been a success. The things I’ve made the most are banana muffins and lemon bars, which I’ve made three times each, plus my mom wants me to make a batch of lemon bars for our family Mother’s Day get-together. I’ve also made sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and one top-secret recipe devised by Austin and me. I wanna try a cake or cupcakes next. I have found baking to be a very enjoyable pastime with benefits for all. :) And I have access to a baking master in my grandma, so I might become a padawan someday.

It’s too difficult to find social connections in the world who aren’t bad influences. That’s one of the primary reasons why I don’t aim to make friends at work or school. My main weakness is my tongue, so I don’t want to make self-control more difficult than it needs to be by exposing myself to those who don’t care so much about what comes out of their mouths. As I get older, I’m trying to improve myself more, and I feel that the best way to do that is to know your weaknesses. I think I’ve gotten better at controlling my tongue since a year or two ago, but I’ve still got a ways to go. These are some Bible verses that I think will help me:

James 3:10 ESV From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
Proverbs 18:21 ESV Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Luke 6:45 ESV The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Proverbs 17:28 ESV Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.

So it’s really more of a thoughts issue than a words issue, although even if your thoughts aren’t the best it’s still better not to let them loose.

Finally, my prayer for myself:
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! (Psalm 141:3 ESV)

Update: School and employment

September 22nd, 2013

I took the California High School Proficiency Exam (CHSPE) at the end of my junior year of high school because, as you know, the sooner the better. And I passed! Which is AWE. SOME.

In the employment arena, I guess it’s seen on the same level as a high school diploma. So no, it’s not like the GED. Also, it’s just English and math, which I must say again is AWE. SOME.

So what do I do now?

Anyone responsible or mature will know that at this point I basically have to either be looking for a job or take college classes. Thankfully, I wasn’t able to enroll at the local community college by the deadline, so (yay!) I don’t have to start that until next semester. Which means the whole job thing. I need to be looking for a job. I already have one application, which I’ve done nothing with, and I was supposed to call this other place, but I still haven’t done that yet. I could look for jobs online, or go to the mall and browse around there, or basically anything, considering I haven’t really got much to do at home. Mi novio also wants to get a job soon, so we’re thinking of possibly making that trip together. I don’t care very much where I work at the moment; I just need a job and I want money. Because money is good. And job makes me a responstible citizen.

Two obstacles: One, my hair. Colored hair is about the same as piercing and tattoos when seeking employment, so I have to find a place that’s either relaxed or is willing to take a risk. Or both. Both is good.

Two, I don’t entirely know how to go about the whole thing. Sometimes tasks are so big that I start thinking too much about its size and not enough about how and when I’m actually going to start. I’m trying to be less of a hesitant person, and I suppose this is an ideal area in which to exercise that change.

The closest college to us doesn’t have any music classes that would advance me further than my current knowledge. And piano is basically the only thing I can stand studying. My parents want me to take at least three classes. So I’ve gone through the whole class catalog, looked up schedules (which is moderately pointless since they don’t have the spring semester schedule yet), pared down the classes and everything. This is all basically practice for when I actually need to do this. But out of their class selection, I may have more options looking at a slightly less local school. I don’t want to go to school at all, let it be known, but if I have to I may as well further the skill I already have. They say I should take general studies like math and English, but just thinking about it makes me wanna puke.

So yeah. College. And job.


Update: New hair! Epilogue/review

September 22nd, 2013

Usually the advice is supposed to go at the end, but I’m gonna go against the flow and put it at the beginning: RESEARCH. I learned from my new hair experience that jumping in without a second thought can pay off, but I also learned that research pays off just as much, if not more. I was hesitant about both of my changes even after I thought I had decided 100%, but I figured that if I didn’t get over it soon, I’d never get to do what I want. So I got over it, and I did it, and I have no regrets. It’s too late for that, anyway.
BUT: The reason I have no regrets is because I did a lot of research beforehand. Like, A LOT (which, by the way, is two words). So if you’re thinking about making a big irreversible change, make sure that you thoroughly research before you even start. It will pay off.

About the cut

A pixie cut can be a tricky thing. It’s all too easy to get it wrong. And it’s all too easy to find a cut that you might love, but won’t flatter your face. My tip: A style you love less but looks better on your face will be a much better choice for something you’re going to have to live with for a while. It’s the same as with clothes; my favorite wardrobe items are the ones that fit me best, not the ones that look best on a hanger.

When conducting my research, I found ta few people who were saying that a pixie cut is higher maintenance than long hair because you can tell sooner when it needs washing, and it needs to be trimmed regularly. To the first point, my hair actually looked greasier faster when it was long. Because long hair can be weighed down a lot easier than short hair, I personally think this makes sense. If I went three days without washing my hair when it was long, it would start to look stringy and thin and I’d have to put it in a braid until I was able to wash it. With the hair I currently have, I have yet to experience any issues with it looking too oily. Maybe it’s because the short ends give it volume and keep it from looking too thin? I don’t know, but in that aspect this length seems better.

As far as trimming goes, I haven’t trimmed mine yet for the month and a half that I’ve had it, but that’s because I wanted it to grow out just a little bit. Now that the back is getting ahead of the rest of my hair, I kinda want to trim that. I wanted to just grow it out without any trimming, but it’s starting to look weird. Also, my hair seems to grow slow-ish? But I’d say that if you don’t want to grow it out for a while and you want to maintain its length (or lack thereof), every 4-6 weeks seems adequate. I noticed my little nape fringe maybe two weeks ago.

I love short hair so much better than long hair. Not just because of looks, because I personally think both lengths suit me equally. It’s so comfortable, and soooo nice to not constantly have my hair just hanging there. I don’t have to worry much about styling it, which is a plus for me personally because I used to mess with my long hair and was never satisfied with how it looked or felt. This haircut is very light and suits my face better than I thought it would.

NOTE: I’m moderately technologically illiterate and don’t know how/am too lazy to add pictures to these posts, so I guess I’ll try to describe my face for you.

I have a pretty normal, thin nose, thickish eyebrows (I don’t like to pluck them), and from the side a sharp jawline. From a 3/4 angle my cheekbones look sort of sharp. My forehead is a normal size, I think. Everybody’s face has a bit of asymmetry and mine’s no different. I asked my two friends what sort of face shape I have from the front, and they said oval/round and oval/square, I think. I’m a slender girl, and in my opinion girls with my build honestly do have a wider range of flattering styles to choose from with a haircut this short. Mine is just a simple pixie cut; when it was first cut, you could say it was about the length of Anne Hathaway’s. Now it’s slightly grown out so it’s a little bit thicker and longer. Hopefully that helps you to understand how mine looks and how yours might look if you look like me. Sorry if it’s not, but I felt that there should be some sort of visual or description if I’m talking about a haircut. XP

ANYWHO: So when I was trying to figure out what haircut would best flatter my face, I was a little discouraged because I couldn’t find anyone whose face had any shape like mine. However, I did find someone who had approximately the same shape from the shoulders up as me, and the same hair texture, and she had a cut that I really liked, which was eventually what I chose to do. It was gonna be relatively long-ish in the back and have longer bangs that I could style all to one side.

HOWEVER: Because the hair dresser didn’t give me the style I showed her, I can’t really say that the satisfaction with my pixie cut is a direct result of my research. It did help me feel better about taking the plunge, though! :D

About the color

My sister made the mistake of not looking up brands and just relying on what her friend told her, and so her fabulous dark deep blue (Splat Blue Envy) began fading within two days, and after a week there were light purple, green, and bleached spots showing through. I think her dye cost about $20, but it does come with bleach, which may contribute to the price. I would not recommend this brand to anyone who wants their color to persevere. If you just wanna try it for a little while, then go for it.

N’Rage Crimson Red is what we used on Austin’s hair. We wanted a bright red that wouldn’t fade to pink, and N’Rage was the least pink one we could find at Sally. It turned out an awesome bright flaming rose red that has barely faded, if at all. Reviews all said it lasts pretty long, although they also said that with all hair dyes, red fades the fastest. He hasn’t tried to see how it does with shampoo, since we’re waiting on color safe shampoo to really wash our hair (sounds gross, but so far we’re both fine). I put this delicious deep conditioner stuff in his hair, and it bled into the conditioner and made it pretty pink. It didn’t come out, but it did bleed, and it does bleed in water. Still waiting to see how it fades. It cost somewhere between $10 and $13, I don’t remember exactly.

Ion Color Brilliance Brights Sky Blue (mouthful!) is the color that, after extensive and painstaking research, finally earned the honor of my preference. It’s really inexpensive and very thick. It cost me about $7 in total, and so far it’s lasting and does not bleed when wet. For my color, I mixed it with conditioner until it was about the color of a blueberry. I used a little less than half the tube I think, and that’s only because after the strand test I tried to adjust the color just a little bit. There was a LOT more conditioner in the mix than dye. If you make the ratio small, the color will not be reduced, AND it’ll be easier to spread in your hair. When my hair was rinsed, all that came out was conditioner. The dye STAYED. It came out way brighter and greener than what I planned, but it is a pretty gorgeous shade of blue. My sister got one for herself and put it in her hair after Splat faded, and I have to say it looks better. Plus, at the lighter ends, it’s got this really pretty turquoise that looks awesome with her black hair. It’s super vibrant and so far is lasting pretty well. Mine hasn’t really even started to fade yet and neither has hers. She said hers bled a little, so I think the amount of conditioner has an effect on bleeding.

We used Clairol Nice ‘n’ Easy Born Blonde bleach. It’s about $11 apiece, and I had to buy three, I think. I do not recommend this brand if you’re actually trying to go blonde. For a bleach that you intend to dye over, it worked fine for us, but I might wanna bleach differently if there’s a next time. For red hair, yellow or even light brown hair is fine to dye over. For blue hair, if you want it really solid blue like I did, you want yours to be as light as possible and even. We bleached my boyfriend twice and me three times. His was darker than mine, and he only left it in for about an hour both times. I left mine in for 90 minutes (the maximum) the first two times. The first time, it was a bright, lemon yellow. The second time, it was more of a banana or lemonade sort of yellow. The third time was to make it white, but because I spilled the bleach when only the back part of my hair was covered, my sister insisted on rinsing it out after the top had only been in for an hour, since the back had already been in 90 minutes. I personally think it would’ve been fine, but whatever. The third time got my hair a little lighter, but definitely not white. The roots and the back were lighter than the top, which is what gave my hair this “multidimensional” effect that actually looks pretty cool. I may wanna try the original color I was going for someday.

Oh, also, we did strand tests and patch tests. The pieces of hair we cut out for the strand tests were very carefully selected by my sister, and we don’t have any noticeable stubs or bald spots. The patch test is very important. You’ll know why if you ever look up images for “hair dye allergy.” If nothing else inspires caution, those will.

Because Austin and I are out of school and Bekah is homeschooled, we were able to take that Thursday through Saturday to go through this very long process; we chose those days so our hair wouldn’t be all yellow when we went to church that weekend. And it had to be a three-day process because it’s supposed to be 24 hours between bleaches and we did not want to burn our scalps off.

And yes, it stings. There’s a tiny little 89 cent packet at Sally of this conditioner stuff you can put in bleach to reduce the stinging.

That was a long post. I think that’s all I have to say about that.

Update: New hair!

September 22nd, 2013

The style

I used to have long brown hair. Undoubtedly long and undoubtedly brown. It looked lovely, but I was always messing with it, and the long overgrown bangs sort of bothered me. So my mom cut my hair shoulder length to match my bangs.

I rocked that for a while. It was cute and felt light and airy now that the dead split ends were finally gone. It was short enough to be manageable and healthy and not weighed down, but still long enough to pull back into a ponytail if I wanted to.

Then, I decided that I was tired of having hair that just hangs off of my head. It was just sort of there, and I found myself obsessively finding ways to pull it out of my face more often than I would feel comfortable with it down.

I’d been curious about pixie cuts for a long time, and wanted one more and more. For several weeks leading up to the haircut, I searched and searched to find one that would possibly suit me. I wanted a cut that wouldn’t be long enough to always remind me of its presence, but I didn’t want to look like a boy. Or a woman over 50. So the style was important to me.

NOTE: Some people say that no matter what, any girl with hair this short is going to look like a guy. I personally don’t agree and have seen many pixie cut styles that look very feminine–although I have seen some rather masculine-looking ones, too.

So I finally had my style all picked out and finally, FINALLY, a day to go to the barber shop, and so one week after I officially decided to take plunge, I went and did it.

I showed the hair dresser a picture of what I wanted. She didn’t cut it according to the picture, which at first sort of scared me. But when I saw what she had done, I loved it. I was surprised at how much I liked it, and I haven’t once regretted doing it. It’s grown out a little bit since then, especially in the back. At first it was a little bit too short for me, but after it grew out a little bit it looked more voluminous and feminine. I like what my bangs are doing now, but the hair around the nape of my neck needs trimming so that it doesn’t grow out into a poofy mullet thing.

The color

So I had my pixie cut in brown for a little more than a month. Then, the hair dye talks began.

Me, my boyfriend and Bekah had all wanted to dye our hair for a while. Like, a WHILE. As in ever since I was in junior high, Bekah and I have wanted color. We never had the time, resources or resolve until now to actually do it. Plus, back then, I think my mom was leaning toward bangs or streaks for us–something that would just put a splash of color in. And I think I’ve always kinda wanted to do most or all of my hair, although I can see why she wouldn’t want us doing something so drastic at a young age.

NOTE: I could be wrong. I try to be careful when quoting people, but my memory/interpretation isn’t always the best. This is just the vibe I felt at the time.

ANYWAY: Bekah has a friend from school who has a lot of experience with hair dye. She slept over at said friend’s house to get her own hair dyed. It is now all black except the framing hair by her face, which is a deep sapphire blue. It looks really awesome.

My boyfriend wanted a similar thing, except with his natural color (which is almost black anyway) and crimson red in the front. I wanted all of my hair to be bright turquoise blue. I also thought it’d be really cool if it could be colored in such a way as to look almost naturally blue.

My hair color research started a little before my sister got her color. I researched color on about the same obsession level as I researched my haircut. I searched for colors until I found The One, then I looked up brands like there was no tomorrow. After all, if I was going to color my whole head, it should be done exactly right.

Once I knew what I wanted and my boyfriend knew what he wanted, the three of us took a trip to the nearby Sally Beauty Supply to purchase hair dye. We had planned to also buy bleach and color safe shampoo, but me being the frugal person that I am, those would’ve been too much money at once. Austin and I went to Walmart a little later to get the bleach, then that weekend, Bekah helped us bleach and dye our hair.

Once again, it was not the exact thing I wanted (all of that research wasted!), but it did look pretty dang awesome. And from what I know, his hair was pretty much what he was going for, too. So now he has bright flaming red in his bangs, which looks super cool, and I have a multitude of shade of ocean turquoise in my hair which is also pretty cool.

The end

So that’s how I went from being a fountain of chocolate brown hair to a pixie of the sea. I look very, very different now than I used to. And I don’t regret it a bit!

FINAL NOTE: Don’t do this if you’re going to be seeking employment anytime soon. >.<

Why your addiction actually is a big deal

June 3rd, 2013

Lately, I’ve had the privilege of having frequently been home with just Rebekah and Adriannah. We’re all pretty lazy and lethargic, so our preferred pastime is to go on Netflix Instant and find something to watch together. In doing so, we came upon a show that aired on TLC called “My Strange Addiction.”

Anything can be an addiction. There are varying definitions of the word addiction, but most of them say the same basic thing. An addiction is something that a person devotes themselves to habitually or obsessively, or on which they’re psychologically dependent (Imagine three days without American Idol. Or coffee. Or your girlfriends. Or Facebook).

The title is pretty self-explanatory. Episodes follow two unusual addictions each. The addicts usually end up seeing a psychiatrist; at the end, we learn how they ended up after the filming. Most of the time they at least cut back. Sometimes they defeat it altogether, and on occasion they remain in denial.

One important thing is always documented: the pleading of loved ones for the addict to get help. We see daughters and sons, close friends, significant others, parents, and siblings desperately trying to get through to the person with the addiction. We see the tears of frustration on their faces as the addict tells them:
“I don’t understand why this is such a big deal to you. ”
“I don’t need help.”
“Why do you always turn the conversation to this?”
“It’s just something cool I love to do.”
“It’s not dangerous. I’m not hurting myself. I’m not gonna die.”
“Are you trying to change me?”
“I can’t believe you’re so embarrassed of me.”
“Well, it’s not going away, so just shut up.”
“This is my choice.”

After the begging and the pleading and the arguing and the whining, the addict becomes annoyed enough to see a physician and/or a psychologist. Sometimes the doctor tells them that what they’re doing is life-threatening and sometimes they don’t. When they don’t, the person has no incentive to stop and the loved ones reluctantly leave it alone. When they do, they focus on that as the main threat. Because apparently addictions are only bad if they’re imminently physically harmful to the ones addicted or those around them.

I beg to differ.

Here’s the problem: It’s so hard to understand why people don’t like addictions. They claim it’s because they’re afraid of physical harm, which may well be. But–and this may be a huge judgment on my part–I find it really hard to believe that that’s the primary reason.

When your brother is addicted to alcohol, you don’t like it. It hurts you, and it’s easy to think that that’s because he poses a potential danger to himself. If he’s a violent drunk, you could also be afraid for his family’s safety. That’s rational, too. But when he asks why he should stop, you tell him:
“You can get liver diseases from drinking. Hundreds of people die in DUI accidents every year. You could hurt your family…”
Et cetera, et cetera. He knows that. He’s probably heard it hundreds of times before.

What if he were addicted to something else, something harmless? Say it was collecting old books. That’s productive. It doesn’t hurt anyone. And so you wonder, why am I still worried about this?

Now the chase.

When someone is addicted to something, it consumes them. It’s an obsession. That next shot is always on his mind. He can’t stop thinking about his next book spree. You can tell him all you want how much time he’s spending or how much he’s drinking, but he’ll come to a point where he’ll deny it.

The point isn’t how many drinks you’ve had (except, obviously, health-wise).

The point is this:
If you had to choose between your addiction or your family, which would you honestly choose?

You will say fervently that you would choose them in a heartbeat and that they can’t possibly be questioning your love for them.

Yeah, you love (your addiction) more, that’s all.

Imagine this: In your hands, you hold (your addiction). Right in front of you is your baby daughter. In order to keep one, you have to drop the other. What do you do?

That choice is why your addiction actually is a big deal. You may not have to choose now, but those close to you know that when you’re faced with the choice, you’ll be undecided. They know that you’ll actually have to hesitate as to whether you’d choose them or not.

For some reason, they never pay much attention to that concern in “My Strange Addiction.” If it’s mentioned, it’s just part of the family drama. It’s never stated as a reason to stop. But it is a reason. When you’re spending as much if not more time exercising or drinking or collecting than with those closest to you, then you have a problem. Something is taking a priority that it should not be taking. And when you deny your addiction, you’re protecting it. You’re protecting a parasite at the expense of really living. When deep down you can’t live without it, deep down you aren’t living with it.

I honestly have no idea how to end this and I probably said the same thing in fifteen million different ways, but if I try to edit this it’ll never get posted sooo that’s that I guess!

See you in like three months when I update again! :D

My last year of childhood

April 3rd, 2013

I’m seventeen years old as of yesterday. I get to be a kid for one more year…but not really. Adulthood has already begun. I’m pursuing maturity and thinking about the future. I’m even managing my own finances now. I’ve had my first paying gig. Not a “JOB” but a gig. But I did get paid. :D

I need a job.

How does a musician of my type get a job? I know we can get gigs and stuff, but to actually be hired on somewhere for an extended period of time? I think I know a pianist who actually has a job. I think he works in a bar. The thing is, to do what he does I’d have to know a lot of songs, or at least be in touch with what people like. And I’m not entirely there yet. But it might be something when I am. Who knows?
I aspire to compose music for games and/or film. However, seeing as I don’t know if I’ll ever get that far, I have to have an idea both of what I want to do in the interim and as a backup.
One of my aspirations in addition to being a musician is to become a qualified ASL interpreter. I’m not going to be pursuing a degree anytime soon, but since my parents want me to go to college somehow I’ll probably take ASL 2 and some kind of music class at a local community college after I graduate. I’ll take a different music class and more ASL the year after that, and by then hopefully I’ll have moved out and maybe come to some kind of decision regarding what I want to do with my life as far as education and stuff. But I’ll be moved out after no longer than three years. (My parents will probably say NOT THAT LONG!)
In-N-Out has looked promising as maybe a summer or fresh-out-of-high-school job. They start at slightly above minimum wage and have benefits for part-time employees and all of that good stuff. Plus they aren’t McDonald’s or Burger King or Taco Bell, which is a major plus. Plus you can actually move pretty high up in that system if you stick around long enough–which I won’t, so the relevance of that is primarily in principle.
I might end up marrying young. If I do, that will be convenient because my husband will have to have a good enough pay to support both of us so I won’t have to work anymore. XD
Totally kidding; if I get married young then chances are we’re gonna need two incomes for a while. Of course, once my husband starts getting paid enough I’ll be able to start handling home more instead of a full-time job.

I’ve thought too far ahead for someone my age, haven’t I?

The most important thing right now is to get through high school. My grades aren’t so hot (yet I’m writing this massive blog post. Hmm). I want to take the California High School Proficiency Exam or something like that, aka the CHSPE. This way I escape early and I can go to college next year. And even if I don’t take it or don’t pass, I’m gonna be homeschooled next year again!!! (CELEBRATION ENSUES)
So, either way, this is the second and last year I have to bear of public school, which is fabulous for me. Ideally I test out like I said, but if I don’t, I still get to not be tortured. I really hope I can bring up my geometry grade soon. Who makes Assignments worth 25%? NO ONE. Whatever.


That’s my semiannual update for you. Hope you enjoyed, my five-or-so faithful followers.

P.S. I learned something from myself today. It’s not life that sucks. It’s how you deal with life that sucks.

Adolescence hasn’t improved

December 23rd, 2012

Hi guys. So, I’m still a teenager, I’m still in school technically, and life is still confusing. How anyone manages to survive adolescence is beyond me. But now that there are only two years left til legal adulthood, I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel from here. The question is whether it’s sunshine welcoming me to life or a pit of fire ready to eat my soft, young, delicious man-flesh. Maybe it’s both. After all, the sun is fine from a certain distance but get too close and you’re toast. Literally. I don’t know how that relates to anything though. Don’t judge me. I swear I’m normal.

End of school, start of summer…. Again

June 14th, 2012

So I made it through the first half of high school, not to say I’m looking forward to the rest. This year was okay I guess. Because I go so long without posting, it’s difficult for me to summarize. If I’d been telling you about everything that happened as it happened, this would’ve been a LOT easier. Technically I could have, but I’m on my phone way more than I’m on the computer, and somehow it’s easier to think and write on the computer than on my phone. But, since my phone’s been stolen, I guess I’ll have a bit more computer time.
Hmm. I think now would be a good time for a story.
Once upon a time, I was at school yesterday for the last of my finals. There were two each day, and one of my last two was P.E. My phone was in my possession right before P.E., as usual. I checked it then placed it in an outer pouch of my backpack, positioning said pouch toward the back of my locker, as usual. Then, as usual, after changing I closed my locker and made certain it was locked. Mind I had never ever told ANYone my code EVER. So, I went to P.E. and played an hour and a half of kickball, as planned. But upon returning to my locker, I discovered something had happened that wasn’t planned. It was locked, as usual, and closed. But when I opened it, every pocket of my backpack was unzipped and rifled through, and my phone was….*gulp*….gone.
I’ll be getting a replacement yes, but whoever has it is a meanie.
The only way this could’ve happened would be if the locker wasn’t completely closed or if someone watched me unlock it. (Privacy, people? -____-) My P.E. locker is between two girls, one of whom is my friend, the other not so much. I doubt that either of them would steal my phone, but the other hangs out with the sort of people who would VERY much appreciate a free phone. It’s possible–not assuming, but it’s possible–that she was involved, though maybe didn’t necessarily steal it herself. Not pointing fingers of course, but this really sucks. At least I have more of an incentive to blog now.

My finals went okay:
History I had to guess on a few questions but I feel that I mostly knew my stuff. Finished with a C; could’ve had an A if I hadn’t been lazy.
Chemistry, ehh, again, had to guess on some stuff, more than history. In addition, we had a substitute teacher for the last week and a half of school because my chemistry teacher was nine months pregnant and took leave. (Nine months of school, nine months of pregnancy, perfect timing, right?) So, my class had a project where we had to create worksheets in pairs, and the whole class would get a copy of each worksheet, for review. Well, my teacher had never told us we would ever have to turn those in, nor did the sub. But apparently we had to turn them in at the final, AND this really random lab project packet that he also didn’t say we had to turn in (I assumed we didn’t because it had nothing to do with the curriculum). But I finished with a C+, not bad for chemistry.
Algebra 1, ehhhhhhh….yeah. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha….sigh Finished with a B+ though, yay!!! I didn’t fail!! Didn’t get to finish the final though, and I guessed on at least half of it. I finished up to problem 92 and had to go 10 minutes over to do that.
Choir went well. I finished that with an A. The only mistakes I madeon the final were that I wrote an eighth rest slightly wrong in the written part, and held a note one count too short on the singing part. Yet, I somehow managed through that final to go from an A+ to an A in that class….hmm… Oh, well, an A is an A, right?
P.E. I finished with an A+. Which is funny, because I don’t feel like I put in much effort. That’s why I love team sports. XP
English I finished with a C. Again, I could’ve had an A if not for my insane laziness. I skipped so many homework assignments. But, I got 101/104 on my final! YEAYUH!! It was a research-based 2-4 minutes speech, and I scored better than I predicted for most of the criteria. So happy!! I’s accomplished. X’D
Sigh….so many other things to talk about….where do I begin with all of that?
I guess I won’t. I guess I’ll just fill you in about other stuff later when it’s actually a primary thing on my mind. :P In the meantime, I have to get ready to go to the beach with my family and a couple of friends. Catch you on the flip side! (Not entirely sure what that means but it sounds quirky and cool….Anyway)
Yours truly,

I hate being a teenager

November 2nd, 2011

At the time that this is written, I have exactly 2.417 years left of childhood.
Time is running out, yet I have my whole life ahead of me at the same time. I wonder if this is what it feels like to die…
The teenage years are not a fun place to be, let’s just clear that up now. At this age, we are given independence, responsibility, a little extra leeway but not too much. We’re discovering who we are, what we believe, who our real friends are. We have sooo much planning to do, especially for the pursuit of a higher education and, eventually, a career. Add to this our raging hormones–drama, relationships, emotions flying all over the place–and, really, this is a pretty pivotal point in a person’s life. I wish we could graduate from child to adult, instead of simply overlapping the two in the years between twelve and twenty. I mean, technically we’re still children, but we’re budding adults as well, and I’m kind of realizing now what a short time I have left to be a child, even though it may be too late for that in some ways.
I miss being little. Several years ago (I won’t say “back then” because I’ll sound like I’m trying to seem older than I am), the decisions we made, actions we took, things we thought or said, had little long-term effect. We used to play school and house; now we’re planning for college, business, family. We had crushes, now we have boyfriends and girlfriends who may one day end up married. We were free to be curious about things and know others; now, there are things we’re expected–and, in fact, relied upon–to know, and other things that we shouldn’t know and wish we didn’t but do anyway. Any drama that occurred was soon resolved and was mainly between the people involved; today, things happen that people don’t forget, and that everyone who knows those involved is eventually going to know about. Where games and laughter were the currency of friendship, now gossip, drugs, and cliques are the binding of most social circles.
The Age of Innocence. It sounds like an era in history…
I Hate Being A Teenager.
I don’t know about you, but everyone at my school looks the same. Well, ok, that’s not entirely true. Every girl looks like every other girl and every guy looks like every other guy, that’s a fact. But the girls don’t look like the guys; that’s something, right? (Although, in all honesty, some of the guys are a leetle on the delicate side)… But it doesn’t stop at outward appearance. Everyone acts the same, too! We are a sphere of clones. How those of us who retain that last tiny crumb of authenticity of character don’t drown in this house of mirrors, I have no idea. All hearts are the same. All senses of humor are the same (although among girls and feminine guys I would define it more as “cuteness,” as opposed to being genuinely funny). Everyone who falls under the category of jock, anime-lovers, nerds, musicians, they’re all the same as everyone else pursuing that hobby. Everyone else is even more the same from not even having that one defining feature. I run into this problem a lot when I encounter Facebook LMS’s that involve posting things you like about people on their Walls. With a few people I know (mainly girl, I noticed) I have often had to squeeze, and sometimes invent, even just one unique thing to say to them. It’s a horrible fact, but it’s true, and I’m so very terrified that I’m becoming one of them. I try not to, but I find myself trying less and less; I don’t want to want to be a Teenage Girl, much less actually be one. I’m me. Not you. You’re you. Not me, or him, or her. I love this quote by I-don’t-remember-who: “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”
Well, my whole upper body is aching from laying on my stomach, so I’m going to go to sleep. I’m fairly certain I’ve said all I have to say on this subject for now. I’ll let you know if I discover something new. Good night my faithful reader (if I even have any of those)!