Have you heard …

For writing class, we were assigned to each write our own free verse:
This is a
Poem
That I
Wrote
Please do
Not
Blame me
For
The little
Quirks
Inside this
Poem
Because I
Never
Wrote one
Before

I sat upon the shelf with a bow around my neck
And I tried to sit up still, and to hold my head erect
And I looked at all the children and I tried to look my best
But if you’re a teddy bear, it is rare that you are dressed.
After months upon that shelf I began to [...]

The lady walked into the milliner’s shop
And asked what the store had in store
He replied, “Nothing better to cover your top!
With cloches, berets and more.
Sombreros, and fezzes, and caps, and a beanie,
And top hats, and bowler hats too,
In colors like purple, and chartreuse (it’s green-y)
And red, orange, yellow and blue.
So many options, you may have [...]

I turned an already-existent joke into a poem and, at the request of family and agreement on my part, I shall now present it to thee–er, you:
Sherlock Holmes and Watson
Were camping out one day
And after several hours, Holmes
Woke up and said, “Hey!
Dr. Watson, see the stars
High up in the sky?
Say what you can tell from [...]

As some items in this are continuing those of a previous entry, it is requested that the reader please first read “TODAY IN LIMERICKSVILLE.” Thank you. Now for the blank o’clock news.
Our rival Jon Stewart’s been fired.
He had not the graveness required
To properly tell
The news right and well
(They caught him before he retired).
Today [...]

A person was walking along
Singing a chipper-y song
When suddenly, ZAP!
He was gone, just like that!
Now, that didn’t take very long…
Today in Limericksville
A girl sat upon a high sill
And as she was falling,
She cried, “How appalling!
Her name, by the way, was Jill.
She was pushed by a large, husky guy
Who said she had eaten his pie.
It should [...]