The lady walked into the milliner’s shop
And asked what the store had in store
He replied, “Nothing better to cover your top!
With cloches, berets and more.
Sombreros, and fezzes, and caps, and a beanie,
And top hats, and bowler hats too,
In colors like purple, and chartreuse (it’s green-y)
And red, orange, yellow and blue.
So many options, you may have some trouble
Deciding which chapeau to buy
But if you get one, or three, maybe a double,
I will not the make the price quite as high.”
The customer pondered and browsed as she thought
She said to herself, “Well I guess,
I may as well get this.” And when it was bought,
She found it went well with her dress.
It was orange and brown and chartreuse and sea green
And yellow and blue, with some red,
And more colors (which before had never been seen).
And she placed the chapeau on her head.
It was heavy, which means it was not very light,
It fact, the girl nearly fell down!
But the colors were just so appealingly bright–
Well, maybe excepting the brown.
It had pansies and violets and a sugar pink daisy
And iris, and bright yellow rose
So many flowers, you’d think she was crazy
Because they near dragged to her toes.
The flamboyant hat looked to be a bit small,
Though, from looking, you really can’t tell,
Because, it appeared, it was really quite tall
And it filled up the space rather well.
Many eyes gazed on this alien item
Some approving, but some with disgust,
But the lady did not want to scratch them or bite ‘em
As some may say, softly, “She must!”
She continued to wobble along the stone way
Until she arrived at her door,
But to her amazement, and to her dismay,
She could not fit through anymore!
She thought to herself, “Oh, it must be this hat.
I’ll take off the gargantuan thing.”
However, at attempting to do ‘zactly that,
To her head it continued to cling.
She tried again, but to no seen avail
And, desperately, tried it again,
But the hat seemed to triumph, and therefore prevail
She stopped trying then, and only then.
A couple days later she happened to see
A hunter who carried a knife,
And thought, “Maybe he can take this off of me!
And therefore be saving my life.”
She tried to call him, but he gave no air
As she screamed and she yelled and she cried,
The hat was still stuck to her elegant hair,
Which caused her to lose all her pride.
She tried all her strength (or what she could muster)
Attempting again to dethrone
The hat, which by now had lost most of its luster
And seemed to her head to have grown.
She pulled and she pulled, but she could not dislodge
The annoying and bothersome hat.
The hat would not move, and the hat would not budge
And she was not too happy with that.
She used it for pillows, and then for a blanket
So now it appeared like a wreck
She was quite on the verge of wanting to spank it
When she pulled, elongating her neck!
With a creak and a moan and a quack and a squeak
She looked like a human giraffe
When she knew what had happened she eked out an “Eek!
Now all who will see me will laugh!
But surely NOW this darned thing will come off;
I suppose I shall try one more time.”
With a grunt and a moan and a strained-sounding cough
Off her head the hat started to climb!
“Thank goodness this moment has finally come!”
And, with ecstasy, pulling once more,
Her heart pounded similarly to a drum.
But it stayed! And she let out a roar!
“What on earth is adhering this thing to my head?
Why, oh, why, does this thing persevere?”
It stayed on her head ’till after she was dead
And there ought to be a moral here.
If you like what you see (it’s appealing to you)
Before your clothing do you don,
Here is one thing that you always must do:
Before buying, you MUST try it on!
“Sombreros, and fezzes, and caps, and a beanie,
And top hats and bowler hats, too,
In colors like purple and chartreuse (it’s green-y)
And red, yellow, orange and blue…”
